Emptiness..

It's kinda a weird feeling..
i do feel this strange feeling recently..
i duno how to describe..
it just came on and off..

After a deep thinking bout this..
i look into this thing and decided to named it as 'emptiness'..

U noe ya?
after cutting all the hopes down on someone i liked last time..
i'm started to have a dull-ness life..
everyday passed by wif nothing special to traced..

sumtimes when i'm alone..
emptiness filled me..
and i felt myself quite kelian~ xD

As i kenot b EMPTIED!
so these days, wat i did was to open up my computer system(my brain) and start searching for new girls.. xD
c which wan i can 'kau'..
kidding la~ lol!
okok.. b serious..

eeehhheeerrrmmmm~~
ok..
wat i did these few days..
i substitute someone wif her..
and it seems to work..
hu?
don ask me..
haha..

now, to fill my emptiness..
think of her can shoo my emptiness away..

now i called her little angel..
no other meaning..
juz wan cal her as angel..
lol..

ok la..
tml i'm going to start doing northern branch de cheques le..
hope i wont find exceptions and therefore no nid waste time to walk here and there photostat the exception.. lol..
nitez~

ps. little angel~

Thinks too much..

Everything comes so unexpected..
i dunno y..

yest nite, i was oredi very exhausted..
hoping tat once i lied myself on my bed..
n i could c my dreams floating in my mind.

BUT THEN!!
things doesnt went as planned.
I cant put myself into sleep!!

halo~~
no stress, no prob, nothing!
and y couldn't i sleep?

then i realised..
all the while..
my mind was function-ING..
thinking bout this and that..

i thought bout how i used to confess to her..
and how i used to b so brave to tell my fren, i wanted to b his rival for girls..
beside, i have this girl in my mind..
her image is binding onto my brain..
haih~

cant help doing nothing for it..
luckily this morning i'm recovered..
^^

then while i traveled to client's place..
i was thinking..
if i saw a girl now..
which can make my heart beat faster than normal..
shud i juz proceed on to her or wat?
wat IF this situation happen JUST tommorrow?
lol!

mayb i'm some useless guy..
i duno wat shud i do..
if the girl is juz in front of me, and she is single..
and i like her...............
conclusion..
i think too much..
xD

ps. my little angel~ plz come to me~ and i wil go for u~ ^^

MCA EGM..

How often can u stepped into Wisma MCA's hall full of delegates and the big-boss ppl huh?
I did it today..
^^

MCA is having it's EGM for the election of new board of committee..
post competed is presedent, deputy president, vice preseident and central committee..

Since i'm free..
I'm taking up the MCA EGM duty and attended it..
I knew it's gonna b a boring duty..
yet, i went for it..

part of it is because i was so interesting on how the EGM took place..
and beside, i care bout the voting result..
so early in the morning, i reached HQ..
only to notice there wasnt much ppl going..
expected la..
haha..

luckily got two girl..
sister relation, form 4 & form 2..
from pudu girl skul..
went for this duty..
paiseh leh..
after spending whole day wif them..
i juz knew their sir name.. lol..
they r quite talkative de leh..
at least v can communicate la.. xD
kinda shocked when i noe they hv 6 siblings..
to make the thing worse, ALL GIRLS!!!
haha..

at first..
while v heading to the the building..
suddenly all the cameraman rushed to us..
i was shocked..
only to notice they r interested in Ong Ka Ting, which is behind me..
he juz reached..
Liow Tiong Lai was beside him..

and after ONE HOUR search for the organiser..
v entered media room to standby..
in case got any ppl fainted or wat-so-eva.. xD

there i saw ntv7 announcer..
zhou xiu yang & huang wan qiu..
and lotsa famous announcer/reporter..
they doing live there ma..
this election is lik a big thing in our community ok!
they do live report every 30 mins lo..
therefore u can c all sorts of media in media room..
ntv7, 8tv, tv3, bernama, astro aec..
reporter busy writing their scripts to talk when doing live..
lol..

and not to forget the nervous-ness when the result is going to b out soon..
because every tv station wants to send the news to their audience at the fastest rate..
same nervous u can find when they doing live reports..
because no mistake is to occured!!
one mistake and u r gone!!!
so all the crew was so gan-zheong..
and after the live report..
they wil release their tension.. xD

me, two girl was listened to one EMAS(Emergency Mediacal Assistant Service) guy telling his stories as a first aider la..
since v r going to sit inside media room..
and all v can do is WAIT!!
not lik those ppl r going to faint while vote oso.. lol..

a lot of cases he attended..
so he juz do the story-telling and v juz learnt thru his experience lo..
haha..
had a great time hearing his stories.. ^^

from 8.30am til 6.30pm..
v standby in media room, which located behind dewan san choon(place where delegates vote and scrutineers count votes)..
and all v do is chat, sleep, eat and watch tv..
sounds lik relax je rite?
u r rite!!
the only thing diff is the place u stand is not ur home.. xD

once or twice the secretary-general Wong Foon Meng and speaker Yik Phooi Hong came into media room and make fun of us(st john)..
and whole room laugh.. xD
he said if the candidates asked for re-counting of votes..
and recount and recount and recount..
v no nid go bek home le.. xD

and many more political ppl i saw today..
Tan Chai Ho, Ng Yen Yen, Ng Yen Yen's secretary.....
lazy listed out all le..
and it's impossible!!
haha..

and tat's all..
kinda hv a memorable day for me la..
tho it's boring..
^^


MCA election feed
Chua Soi Lek becum president..
Liow Tiong Lai became deputy..

F1 feed
jenson crowned Aussie GP's champion, followed by kubica and massa..
Ferrari stil topped constrcutor's standing..

Premier League feed
Arsenal draw Birmingham..
Man Utd won..
Chelsea thrashed Aston Villa 7-1 wif lampard's 4 goal..

Badminton feed
Malaysia lose everything in Badminton Asia Youth U19 Championship's final..

9th month anniversary - Outing..

It's our ninth month anniversary..
not for me..
BUT our camp group in acca conference!!

let me ask this question, may i? xD
how many groups in camp will organised gathering ar?
so far i noe one..
tat is my acca conference group!! xD
feel so proud lo!! muahaha~

at first i invited 7 member from my group..
emily went langkawi..
songher sicked + nt free..
making it 5..
and li en brought yishan..
so today gathering oni 6 ppl attend..

when someone came..
i duno y i felt so nervous..
I DUNO Y!!
mayb...

at first i thought someone wil suggest somewhere to eat..
i was sooooo wrong!!
if i noe this situation wil happened..
i wil decide it b4 this gathering lo..
haih..

then chit chat during lunch time..
hv lunch at little penang cafe..
everyone ordered char kuey teow..
yishan complained that stall's char kuey teow beside the road oso better than this..
kinda true..
i found it ok oni le..
at least edible la.. xD

v talked bout our future as accountants..
and our future path soon-to-take..
it seems lik yishan wan to hav a better way of working..
compare to hectic career life..
and yihua seems agree wif her..
haha..

have a nice afternoon chat tho..
but time flies very fast..
once glimpse and v had to leave the cafe le..
because v r moving into the next agenda..
watching movie..
and it's related to dragon..


HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!!

the dragon in the poster which called night fury damn cute lo..
hope to have one as my pet too..
haha..
miow!! dream on!! xD

the movie is nice la..
have some small laughter inside..
but then yishan complained the kid behind her keep on kicking her chair..
making her bu shuang..
lol..

so after the movie..
everyone chao..
since tat v have nothing else to do le rite?

but i think this gathering is a bit short la..
because no one can actuali take the lead..
mayb next gathering shud improve oso..

hereby sry to cathy because all the while v used chinese 4 communication..
and i kinda feel wrong if i call u out and juz listen to our craps..
sry sry..

another lesson learnt..
shud speak eng more next time!! xD

oh ya, waiting for next gathering..
wont b tat fast la..
but wil definitely organise another 1..
make sure those hu rejected me this time MUST come next time o!!
Happy ninth month anniversary my frensss~ ^^

signing off~ ^^

Decision, Made..

It's never a good feeling..
I never felt tat..

yest when i closed my eye, waiting to meet my sweet dream..
i thought of her again..
it never escaped..

however, this time..
i viewed it as positive way..
i looked at the same thing again in a diff way..
the feeling is diff..

previously, i was closing my mind..
being wat ppl called 固执(paiseh, i duno eng cal wat..)
i want her means i want her..
nothing can go against my will..
once a thought is set, nothing can stopped it..

but as time flies~
i realised..
even if i don wish, i stil hv to let go..
wateva happened, life stil goes on..
it never stop ticking when u r in trouble..

so y woud i stand on the same place when ppl, one by one, passed by me?
i admited..
before this, i stand still, hoping tat she wil turned bek and accepted me..
and after struggling for 1 month and even more!
nothing changes..
i was wrong..
she never came bek..
she stil stand on her point..

for one yr plus, i chased de girl..
now it looks so impossible d..
and for 1 month, i thought it's stil save-able..
absolutely not for now..

since she not moving le..
looks lik i stand on my point is kinda useless le rite?
so i chose to move..
at first, the feeling is not gd ast all..
NOT AT ALL..

BUT, chinese idion says "长痛不如短痛(short pain better than long pain)"..
i totally agreed..
i've been thru it..
at first is very pain..
after tat, i felt kinda relief le..
i'm not obsessed wif her anymore..

altho now, i stil got a bit bu she de put down her from my inner heart..
i have to..

question on whether wil i go bek to her if she chged mind..
i keep tat answer unanswered..
until the days come..
^^

note: this post is wrritten on spontaneous..

ps. I LOVE YOU!!

Happy Belated Birthday to me.. ^^

It's not an easy job to reply everyone's wishes when u only have 24 hours EVEN when it is ur birthday..
I encounter that.. ^^

Yest was my once a year event..
MY BIRTHDAY!!
muahahah~~

rmb.. i lik no 3..
because i'm borned in March..
on 23rd.. oso hv 1 '3'..

so wat's so special today?
i c it as normal le..
it's stil the usual 24 hours, usual working days, usual tiring days for me..
the only diff is, my phone keep on beeping because of the msg i received..
besides that, i have to spent continuous few hours in front of the comp to reply all the wishes in the facebook..
it burst my notification lo ok!
haha..

as of today..
there are 180 wishes from facebook..
12 wishes from phone..
3 wishes from MSN..
3 from fb chat..
198 all together..
kinda a lucky number le.. xD

last yr i listed down all the ppl hu wished me here.
this yr i don think i wil do the same thing..
the number increased dramatically!! xD

at nite, msn wif few ppl la..
then those few ppl oso asked me y i no celebration..
i answered them i get used to it d le..
then they say me kesian..
kesian meh? lol..
summor i more used to no fren celebrated for me..
can stay at home..
relax..

ehy, i worked ok!
very tired de u noe?
nid rest la~ xD

present ar?
i only received a sweet present from kwee yun only lo..
kesian~
but i very kan de kai de..
wont b so greedy wan more present le! xD

oh ya.. 1 more thing tat must do is having a wish!
i nearly forgot lo!
luckily stella reminded me to make a wish before i went to bed..
and i make one..
anyone wants to noe?
ask stella.. xD

conclusion?
another normal day on my important day..
198 wishes..
1 present..
1 wish..
1 cake..
0 celebration..
^^

ps. the question now is hu? haha~

22nd March 2009

Yest was sun..
this is my 4th time backing to college area..
i duno y i juz cant stop myself from going to wangsa..
mayb there is something over there to attract me?
haha..

5pm i reached my fren's hse..
this time go wangsa got 3 purpose..
first is to hand the money..
second to return library book..
third is to chatting..

told ya..
chatting wif my fren is the most interesting part i've ever enjoy in my life..
especially when v hv inner heart talk..
tat is best suit me..
i enjoy very much..
haha..

so after handling the money..
i hv a chat wif stella and chiafang..
chat society's stuff..
relationship stuff..
everything tat comes to our mind..
v juz chat la..

then i story telling my stories to stella..
haih..
going thru the momories again..
i seriously think tat i hv nothing else left le..
all i gain is nothing!
haih..

then rite..
i get to noe few gd news le..
my 2 girl's punya frens are coupled..
2 diff ppl..
but coupled during the same period..
both of them..
one juz knew each other not more than 1 week..
another is not more than a month..

i oso duno y ppl so easy can get one..
especially in so short period..
me go thru mountains and seas..
dak ko gat oso..
haih~

nvm la..
now i c it openly le..
mayb i was not gd enuf?
hehe..

bek to the topic..
these girls..
one i stil fang xin la..
another is her bf langsung no tell anyone bout this relationship.
not even ONE single HUMAN!!
this doesnt make sense rite?

so i scare this fren of mine kena cheated le..
haih..
she said she sai lang jor..
she put every effort into this relationship jor..
wat to do leh?
juz hope tat the guy is a gd one..
if the guy is bad one..
my fren wil sad..
i oso wil sad.
then whole world wil b sad too..
lol..
jkjk..

yeah..
this is wat happened yest..

today nothing happened le..
except some early wishes from my fren..

duno i shud b happy or sad if someone wish me..
lol..


Premier League feeds..
Man Utd beat Liverpool 2-1..
Torres early header cant save Liverpool..
Chelsea draw Blackburn, title hope unstable..

Auditor's life #2: Good & Nice Manager..

As i mentioned few days ago..
auditor's pay very few ni..
800.. less out the transportation fees..
less out ur meal(lunch)..
less out ur coffee wif is the only option to keep u awake..
how much more $$ do u left?

let's have a rough count here..
(too bad i'm a future accountant, being too stingy in these counting, i cant help much too ^^)
lrt to(2.40) and fro(2.10)..
4 weeks per month, 5 days per week..
spent around 100 there..

meal?
this one really makes me headache..
everytime..
where ever i eat..
sure i wil ter-spent more than 5 bucks..
once i successfully in cutting it down to 4.90 per lunch..
yeah!! XD
but it's ONLY ONCE.. @.@

so one month..
200 there..

left out 500..
first month deducted 20++ because 1st of feb is holiday..
our work job absolutely required us to buy a numpad..
minus here and there..

not much left isnt it?

come to think of tat..
i met this manager which is very frenly to us..
according to vinnie, she's 26..
status is manager, one step ahead of senior associates 1..
married..

anyone hu see her wil definitely have a great time wif her..
wat i meant is true!!
she is 100% nice..
no egoness nor selfishness..
anything u wants to say, dipersilakan..

once i submitted the claims form late compared to other interns tat worked under her..
each of them claimed around 70/80/90..
but me only claim 20.80..
she was asking y so less..
then i explained tat i only claim for month of march..
and tat month of february i'm not working under her..
if i were to claim for feb, i would have to go bek to ASTRO and ask the manager in charge to sign the claim forms..
which is very unconvenience for me..

so she think of various ways to help me claim more..
i was so touched..
how many manger wil willing to help u think of ways to incur more cost to the firm huh?
try to think bout it..

i met 1!! haha..

i told everyone bout how nice she is..
from tat time onwards..
i noticed..
if i were to work under a good and nice and kind and wat-so-eva positively personality manager..
i would do anything she required us to do..
of course in the course of work field la..

my conclusion is Winnie Mak, my manager, is nice.. ^^
my wish: hope my future career life, i wil meet someone lik winnie too.. ^^

ps. yest nite, think bout u again.. kenot la~

Auditor's Life..

I duno when is the last time i filled my days without writing a post per day..
tat was lik long long time ago le..
but yest..
i success in doing so..
I din touch blogspot at all..
haha..

hmm..
wat shud i share here for myself?

ok..
first up..
auditor's pay..

a lot of ppl asked me: "where u worked now?"
i ans: "PwC"
ppl's respond: "WAH!! Big 4 nia! so gd!"
i told them: "it's not as nice as u think, juz matching cheques wif deposit slips.. cant learn anything"
they questioned: "how much u get?"
i replied: "juz 800.."

to b honest..
my interns is not at the right time..
wat i mean here is v r not suppose to have interns now..
they hired us because they have special assignment..
which is wat i'm doing now..

working wif one of the big 4 is gd..
everything is nice..
but doing wat i'm doing now..
is not nice at all!!
i'm oredi in a saturatest level..

bout the pay..
800 is less..
oh ya! by the way, other called it as allowance, not pay!
so our allowance is very less..

but try to think it in a long term..
being an auditor..
my first year can earn 2400 straight after graduate from college..
tat time our status will b associates 2..
then second year u wil b promoted to associates 1..
wif ur pay to increased by a bit..
then 3rd year auto promoted to senior associates 2 wif 4000!!!
3 years can earn 4000 liao..
how many job can u encounter which pay u such a high pay in 3 years?

but one disadv of auditors is:
when u r in peak period..
u have to suffer lik hell..
let me guess..
working late and OT everytime..
til...... 2am? or 3am or 4am??
gosh!!

even my senior in alliance bank..
they work like hell..
everyday..
til late nite..
2am le..
manager rush them go home oso they don wan..
summor weekend have to dedicate ur beloved sleeping time on works oso..
haih~

i stil have two more years to decide whether to becum an auditor..
i wan to judge it's benefit and disadvantages..
see which one worth..
@.@

so u guys choose urself la..
my crap ends here..
thx for spending ur time..
if u see this post till the end..

ps. can i admit sth?

Encore Nite 2010..

It was a great nite..
a great great nite..
i saw frens, which i never met them for ages..
most of them is in encore committee..
but cant chat wif them much oso..
they are all so busy making up the event to b a successful one..

as i favour this kind of nite nite event..
plus my committee fren hu 'invited' me to go for the event..
i hv no reason for not going..
but first! i must find a teman..
i don care if it's a boy or girl..
as long as it's teman..

too bad.. til tat nite i cant seems to find a fren hu would teman me there..
the committee stole away my beloved junior and forced them to b helper..
angel, jenny, chris, kristy, theresa..
oh my holy!
those tat i invited is those hu hv the possibility of attending the nite..
manatau kejam punya committee makes me lonely tat nite..

after collecting the ticket..
to b honest, BUY the ticket..
in less than one minutes, i'm a back stage helper..

not bad la..
the most important thing is i can b wif frens..
so my job is to open and close the curtain..
and tat's all..
muahaha..

but when i c the committee work so hard..
i feel lik doing this once oso..
so my last hope is Accounting Nite le..
duno they wan organise or not..
if they organanise i sure joined de..
haha..

tat nite got two guest performers and those finalist..
i c from the side view la..
i found tat the finalist is very talented..
at least for a normal student..
they r counted as the best le..

two guest performer is thomas and jack 东于哲..
and jeanie lee 李幸倪..
they say jeanie very pretty..
i c her as normal oni lo..
izit my taste altered after the incident ar?
lol..

and tat ends my day..
altho i stayed wif my mei de gang for awhile..
they oso got their 'function' de..
i oso don wan disturb them..
so in the end, i'm lonely too..
T.T

nvm la..
as long as they happy.. wateva happens to me isnt important..


F1 feeds..
Ferrari finish one-two in the debut race..
Lotus(malaysia F1 team) finished the race as compare to two other newbies which retired during the match..

Badminton feed..
Datuk Lee Chong Wei crowned 100th All-England champion..
China mans double finalist bu shuang after the match, got 1 red card..

BBQ..

A very hot sunday..
weather is getting hotter..
i oso duno how m i suppose to live le..
everyday the house is lik an oven..
feel lik cooking us to become bbq pig izit?
kenot la lik this~
haha..

yest made some decision le..
i really feel more energetic d.
at least i'm not bind to her anymore..
下定决心,从新做人..
haha..

yest nite have some gd news..
me and my mei exchg-ing gd news..
suddenly i laugh lo..
smile summor!!
kan lai my mei successfully make me happy le..
haha..

altho i'm not in the field anymore..
i stil have one more advice for someone..
u may or maynot see this advice..
but this is my advice for u la..

if ur heart have the girl's existence..
plz b sure to make contact wif the girl..
don ignore her la..
the girl very cham de ar..
sumtimes the girl hope to rcv some feedback..
but u ignore pulak..

wait til the girl go for another le only u realised u kenot lose her..
tat time regret oso no use le..
sediakan payung sebelum hujan..
don let the things happen le oni action lo..
hope u two can b together lo..
^^

today my wish is i can meet someone tat can replace u..
departing to encore nite soon..
wil write a report on wat i see and wat i sense..
so tat i wil noe whether i improve or not..

encore nite.. here i come!!
don disappoint me!!
haha..

44th day..

on 44th day..
was a non-work day..

basically i was juz read novel..
yum cha wif kahwai..
and other time?
on facebook la..
play restaurant city..
wat else i can do?

sounds lik ntg rite?
but then i have made an important decision today..

i have decided to let go of her..
i think it's useless if i stil think bout her..
but nothing will turns out..
not lik i can couple up wif her rite..

me n her is impossible le..
miow has learned tat..
and most importantly..
miow promised not to obsess wif her le..

so now hereby i respect ur decision..
if u had rejected me..
then i wil juz do wateva u wished..

one thing i wish now is v can stil sms lik usual..
lik last time..
can u juz fulfill my wish for this?

on 44th day..
everything ends..

ps. tml going encore night.. hope can meet someone tat can replace u..

Bored day in BMMB

To b honest..
i don lik today..
because today not much work to do..

mayb vincent was right..
i'm a workholic..
it is very damn bored when u have nothing else to do!
summor u cant spend ur precious time on facebook..
(facebook is banned in bank muamalat)
and wat else left to us is?
bunch of time to spend on nowhere..

today when i reached masjid jamek..
i was wondering wat shud i do later..
shud i juz slack a bit?

1 hour later..
my perception totally changed!
it is damn bored when i have nothing else to do for more than n hours..
i duno how many hours, minutes, seconds, milli seconds i wasted..
all i noe is i have nothing else to do until 3pm!

all v did was to surf net..
worst come to worst..
when i'm oredi in no mood to surf net..
dahlah the bank muamalat IT team banned here banned there..
making me unable to opened the surfing page..

i forced my brain to think..
"wat else i can do wif limited page to view?"
and first thing to enter my mind is bell's pet name..
she bought two tortoise..
one sudah lari..
and now she wanted to buy another one, making it a pair..
and wanted to chg name..
so i search the names online lo..
luckily those pages can b viewed..

at last, i couldnt find suitable name for her..
so sry le..
i tried my best..
bell..
i have sent the website to ur email..
choose it urself la..
^^

when time to do work becum lesser..
time to think bout her increased..
it is inversed relationship..

it's funny tat i stil like a girl tat oredi rejected me for thousand times..
i wil continue to live happily..
hope so..

in search of ppl hu care for me..
(to left)ada orang?
(to right) got ppl?
(to left) you ren ma?

One..

rmb i intro two songs yest?
i realised i addicted to it le..

today while i work..
i repeated those songs for whole day..
ONLY these two songs..
even one of my colleagus lectured me bout it..

meanwhile..
i got flashback..
on wat i've done..
and how she reacted..

i'm oredi in kebuntuan jalan le..
i duno which step i shud take after this..
i wanted to voice out..
but at the same time i scared i hurt her again..
how?

haih~
after all, i'm not god..
i'm not perfect..

yest nite, i accidentally saw wat she wrote somewhere..
at the same time, i was listening to one of the song i intro - 心墙..
when these two things come together.
i felt the urge of crying..

tang tang nan zi han da zhang fu..
nan ren liu han bu liu lei..
shud i cry or not?

aiks~
i'm really fed up le..

now..
i really need one people..
one touching advice..
one appropriate plan..
one satisfying answer..
one and for all..
settle it up..

can i do it successfully before this sun?
3 days left..
y sun?
because i'm going to college and meet frens..
i don wan b emo, later they oso kena affected..
i don wan act to b happy, because tat's not me..
so sun..
plz..
gimme ways to end this!!

ps. i miss you or i love you now?

心墙 & 最后一页

haih..
these few days very tired le..
a lot of thing haven solved yet..
this weekend will b damn busy pulak..

a lot of date le.
dunno wanna attend or not..
feel lik attending..
but i'm a dead ppl now..
how to attend? @.@

work is killing me..
i'm oredi in saturated level..
everything seems bored to me le..
the cheques..
speechless..

everyday face cheque..
sien oso sien diao liao la..
even the manager oso admit..
if she wil b doing this job..
she will b boring too..
lol..

today winnie come and visit us le..
at last she missed us this xiao dong gua here liao..
first time visit since she left us at bank muamalat..

oh ya! starting tml..
no cheques le..
only deposit slips..
and i can gurantee u it is confirm slower than manually-found cheque...
the internal auditor don wan listen to us..
therefore v can only try it out tml..
and prove him how 'slowwwwww' the system is..

anyway..
our work load is cut down a lot le..
sample size reduce to 50k from initial 300k..
and v are only required to fill in 2 column instead of 10 columns?
gd news le..
but tmml no cheques..
i missed cheques a lot..

let's c how efficient v can b tml la..

here is 2 songs tat i loved these few days..
i can b satisfied only to listen these 2 songs repeatedly whole day..
damn nice..

one of it i actually discovered during my visit to fren's blog..
her name is bell..
thx bell!!

hereby i intro it to u all la..
when u close ur eye and listen to the rhythm and lyrics..
it is actuali very addictive and touching..
hope u all lik it..


心墙 - 郭静

一个人眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞越
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝因为有限

我学着不去担心得太远
不计画太多反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天快乐地看每一天

第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别

你的心有一道墙但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化

你会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳



江语晨 - 最后一页

雨停滞天空之间像泪在眼眶盘旋
这也许是最后一次见面
沿途经过的从前还来不及再重演
拥抱早已悄悄冷却

海潮声淹没了离别时的黄昏
只留下不舍的体温
星空下拥抱着快凋零的温存
爱只能在回忆里完整

想把你抱进身体里面不敢让你看见
嘴角那颗没落下的泪
如果这是最后的一页在你离开之前
能否让我把故事重写

想把你抱进身体里面不敢让你看见
嘴角那颗没落下的泪
如果这是最后的一页在你离开之前
能否让我把故事重写


END

40th day..

I cant believe..
tat it reached 40 days le..
kinda of shock for me..
being able to count it from the first day til 40 day itself..
doing something similiar everyday for continuous 40 days..
isnt easy..
i did it..
but this is not a gd things to b proud of..

u must noe..
y i count??
i wanted to remind myself..
c when only i can let go..
but i count til 40 le..
it's one month plus..
stil..
i cant get used to it..

in these 40 days..
a day without thinking u is countable..
i can even use my finger to count for it..
i think one hand is enuf..

yest have a long chat wif flower..
wat she said might b correct..
wat she said might b wrong..
but she said bout one thing which made me think it make sense..

mayb she(another she) juz wan me to stop..
but i told her(flower) tat instead of making me stop..
it makes me suffer..
lik hell..

i duno y i kinda very 'gek' when chatting wif yihua..
mayb this is my first time pouring out the important things ba..
not all..
but all i said is main point..
i haven do this to my current prob yet..

normally when i face prob i wil voice it out to any victim i caught..
and later on i wil seek for advice..

this thing happened for one month le..
but i only voice it out to my mei only..
beside tat, no one even care to noe..
or i shud say, they don hv time for me to pour..
they r so busy!!
moreover, i work they study!!
mana ada masa untuk saya?

so yest nite i was so 'gek' d..
then she says bout something..
i lagi gek..
i duno y..
ppl received oso don wan received..
i giv oso ppl don wan received..
yihua, u und wat i said rite?

one thing is she said she envy me..
no one appreciate me..
haih..
yihua yihua..
if u say til i'm so gd..
y i don have a long queue out there de?
don ans me : "ur time not yet come le"
i rmb i told u yest tat everyone said tat to me..
in the end?

haih..
these two days i sink again..
wil float out to breath b4 i sink unintentionally again..

ps. i miss you..

39th day - result day..

on 39th day..
i had my result day..
i'm stil very scared to view my result..
i scared i kenot get scholarship..
i scared i kenot lower my father's burden..

it's unusual this time..
normally last time i wil get confidence from someone.
but this time round..
i dont..
so my confidence oso not very high..

tat's my major reason why everyone rushed to see their result..
and i dont..

now, i'm scared to face the truth..
truth always hurt..
hu noes?
it might b bad?

and while i write this post..
i took up my courage and viewed it..



sorry la ladies and gentlemans..
i'm not planning to publish it le..
u all oni can have a rough guess of my results..
i think u all oso wont guess de la rite?
cauz my result is not important to u guys oso..
not lik u cant live on without knewing it rite?

so ladies and gentleman..
don waste ur time here..
go on wif ur living..
leave me alone here staring at my result..
and staring at my pasts..
see wat i did wrong..

mayb i'm wrong from the start?
or mayb i wrong in the middle?
or i wrong in the last step?

ok.. basically this is wat happened on day 39..
snowice kuala lumpur reports out..

ps.get well soon~

S.H.E is the One Live in Malaysia 2010..

had a great nite yest..
the concert is awesome..
fantastic!!

it's been awhile since i joined concert duty..
i stil remembered my last concert duty is fish leong's concert duty which is last yr's june..
and since tat..
i nv attend any concert duty because of some prob..

when i reached HQ..
was surprised to see so many cadets..
usually these ooncert duty which is night duty..
is available only for adults..
this time, cadets outnumbered adults..
looks lik all the cadet come for this duty because they wants to have a look at SHE..

after getting ready for all the stuff lik first aid kit and oxygen tank..
v proceeded to bukit jalil national stadium..

me stationed wif zi theng, chiin yi, and wenyi..
jaga de place costs RM268..

then among us, v split again..
me duty wif kepong baru MIC - wenyi..
she first time came concert duty..
chat awhile wif her lo..
she form 5 le..
going spm soon..
after spm, either going for medicine or accountant..
she said medicine too expensive le..
if going accountant..
most probably i wil meet her in tar college..
haha..

now focus on concert..
the concert having a great starting til the end..
as i said..
it's a fantastic concert..
i think this is the nicest of all the concert i attended b4..

concert's creativity very high..
they even narrate their story from forming the group til wat they achieved now..
into a short clip, viewed it to the audience while they moved to the back stage and changed their shirt..

moreover, u can c their sexy appearance & hot dance too..
which is quite rare because they seldomly do so..
imagine three little girl wif a innocent look..
wearing very short de shorts and tube-like top wear..
dancing closely wif the dancers..
the scene's very hot..

beside, they even have a KTV session..
they eat on the stage!!
they eat papaya and popcorn!
lol..
funny la they all..

overall they sang 43 songs include encore..
it's a remarkable day..
guess the audience got around 10k++ ba..

i enjoyed the song..
because most of the song i heard b4 de..
and the lyrics are prepared on the screen..
some of the song is love song..
so i got a little bit of thinking of her when those song is sang..

now tat the concert is over..
i don think there is anymore concert tat can impressed me this much..
i seriously enjoyed it to the max..

heard from my officer..
the next concert will b Kelly Clarkson's..
which dated on 25th April..
til tat day..
i shall make myself appeared more in st john activities..
if not, ppl will say i only go for concert duty..
sayonara~

ps. missing you to the max as well~

Contradict..

i realised tat it is impossible to forget someone..
especially when u likes someone..
even loves..

the day for me isnt very gd..
everytime when i forced myself to do things wif full attention..
it doesnt seems to b success..

unfortunately, it got worst..
i must do something to occupy my time for now..
even a small thing could put me better..
at least when i do my works..
i felt tat i'm in the other world..

but when i'm all alone..
even when i'm in lrt going for work..
my mind is in chaos..
thinking of her again..

so wat did i do?
i took newspaper..
and try to read it eventhough the train is moving..
previously i wouldnt do so..
because reading books/newspaper while the train is moving..
could make me feel dizzy..
summor when the train brek suddenly, v could not stand still..

but tat is my only option..
hu ask me to invest all my cares in one girl..
and now..
i cant get bek my capital..

it's lik playing poker..
all in..
either u win everything or u lose everything..
unfortunately..
i lose everything..
at least i win bek a small token..
a frenship wif her..
but i also duno whether she wants to cont treating me lika fren b4?
or being worst - treating me lik a strangers..

i'm totally clueless..
i seriously need some motivation..
to get out of this troublesome i created for myself..

ppl say..
塞翁失马,焉知非福..
when bad things goes, gd things will come..
i admit tat this incident happened on me is bad..
but wat could b the gd things tat wil come?

loving a girl too deeply is the cause for this..
this caused so much pain for me..
but then if u don love someone deeply..
is tat called love?
will the girl feel secured without worrying the guy wil break up wif her one day in the future?
first contradict..

so which way?
love deeply or not?
i guess the ans lies within the girls..

some of the girls need guys full attention..
some of them prefer the guy giv them more space for their own activities..
which way again?
second contradict..

sometimes u make decision girls said u doesnt care for them..
but everytime when u ask the girls to make decision..
they blamed u for inefficiency in making decision..
third contradict..

there is more example to b listed..
but wat benefit i can get?
nothing..
so i stopped here..

all i understand now is every girl is diff..
every girl is unique..
their perception is different..
cant use one way to judge every girls..

but wat happened on me is unique oso..
i nearly got her..
and the end result is disappointing..
mayb i doesnt matched wif her?
mayb i'm not good enuf?
or mayb i wasnt the prince of hers?

all the guessing is useless..
since i haven reali let go of her..
the only option i left is putting myself into an illusion..
hoping tat i stil owned a hope, a chance..
i hope i have the izanagi ability lik the one in naruto..
can move ownself into an illusion..

wateva happens in the future..
no one can predict..
人在做,天在看..
as long as i contribute..
i think i would received rewards..

let's put everything bek to origin and try once more..
if i still fail..
tat's my fate..
命中注定..
怨不得别人..

there is two ways to live..
one is happy way..
another is sorrow path..
isnt it good if i can live happily and cont to live wif hope?

hope tat me 早日得到美人归..
^^

ps. get well soon~

36th day..

gosh!
normally i hope tat i can dream bout u..
but it wont happen..
nv ever happen!
not even once..

but juz now when i came bek from work..
damn tired..
the accumulated tiredness of the week..
i oredi kenot tahan..
so i had a small nap..
i dreamt bout u..

walaoeh..
god must b joking wif me..
haih~

yest nite..
i kenot tahan d..
so i break the rules..

again, i duno how to face her..
i haven let go of her..
so i juz send a simple caring msg la..
i have the urge to 得寸进尺..
but i controlled..

today afternoon..
oso have the urge again..
luckily i saw swee ann..
because v having lunch together..
i saw the warning embedded inside her..
fine then~

altho i failed to b closer to u..
but i stil cant stop to care bout u..
guess this situation will carry on for a longer period..
hope tat v will stil b able to sms lik b4..
i really hope so..
god..
plz make this wish comes true..
@.@

it's only a simple wish le..

for 36 days..
nv once i success..

tell me y~ it's so hard to forget, dont remind me~

35th day..

this is wat i did everytime when i came bek home from work..

i wil first open comp..
go for restaurant city..
then check notification..
only go to bath..
and lastly have dinner(if i hv mood to eat)..

today is a normal day for me..
except tat the birthday boy shut my comp down for 2 times..
and vincent shut once..
my stupid comp hang once..

luckily i saved everything i did after entered one transaction..
if not i'm gonna have a hard time redo everything!

this is life in bank muamalat..
matching(vouching) the cheque wif bank in slip..
actuali, it's a very simple, yet time-consuming work..
nothing v can learned there..

luckily bank muamalat delayed our starting period for this job..
if not, v langsung cannot learn anything during our internship!
at least last month v learn quite a lot of things from various place la..

i opened facebook juz now..
and the first news appeared in front of me..
is a bad news..
someone got sicked..

i duno y, i'm damn worrying..
even now..
my mood juz fly away..

im fully aware..
if this happened last month..
i wil immediately take up my phone and starting to care bout u..
but now?
i don hv the permit..
thus i cant do anything!
nothing i could do to help u get well..
i felt useless..

i realised i keep giving myself hopes..
at the same time i'm reminding myself i have lost in this battle..
i'm contradicting myself!

i stil nid times to make decision..
guess i'm affected by my college gang..
lack efficiency in making decision..

ppl said IMU is International Medical University..
but my IMU is . .... ...

here's a song dedication..


A Little Too Not Over You - David Archuleta

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else

It's for the best I know it is but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand!

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

END

Bank Muamalat..

god blessed me..
i'm able to stay happy today..

after one month..
at last..
me, vincent and biiang is able to work together le..
including hisham and low..

v worked in Bank Muamalat..
all v did was juz to match the cheque wif the bank in slip..
so tat no fraud can happen..

when i travelled from my hhouse to client's place..
i'm juz doing the same things..
thinking and missing a female.
those frens of mine sure noe hu i think de la..
i reali control myself le..
the thought juz went in..
i nv do anything..

all the questions posted by my frens surround the same 'theme'..
y am i so stupid to keep hurted by single thing?
i do admit..
i'm stupid enuf to juz like her..
and stupid enuf to duno how to love a girl..
guess tat's me..

girls do have the right to choose..
and v as a guy, only can listened!
therefore i acted as u wish..

yest whole nite..
i wasnt concentrate on wat i was doing..
i was juz wandering around..
worrying bout one thing..
"do u feel ok or not?"
because u told me u r going to faint..
i was worrying..

sry swee ann, i was hoping again le..
altho u asked me not to..

明知山有虎,偏向虎山行..
(know that tiger is in the mountain, still wants to go for it)
i wonder..
when will i stopped visiting the mountain..
until 1 of my limb gone?
or when i lose my life?
only i wil regretted going for the mountain?
haiz~

mei~
i fall too deep le..
only time can heals me..
gimme time k?

ps. today i very easily miss u.. don ask me y..

33rd day..

today i came bek home earliest..
6.15pm..
because there is nothing for me to do in Alliance bank.
those senior knew i would leave soon..
therefore they don wan gimme job and while i did halfway, they nid to redo..

basically i did very very simple thing in Alliance bank only la..
and today is my last day in Alliance bank le..
tml, i will officially go to Bank Muamalat..

juz when i'm getting close to senior in Alliance bank..
they send me off pulak..
juz two days i knew them only le..
this is life i guess..
u cant control wat u wan actuali..
lik, i wan her..
kenot..

today before i went off, i chatted wif my senior la..
they r very kind and funny weyh..
hope i can stay there wif them lo..
but i couldnt..
i can b there for even 2 days is an honoured for me le..
supposingly v r taking up the special assignment and go nowhere de lo..

yest i said they r bringing food to client place rite..
yes! they did!
and i'm one of them who helped to carry up the things..
everything is cover wif plastic la..
except mamee..
and unfortunately, i'm taking up the mummy..
while v moved the foods from basement parking to 15th floor..
everyone is looking at us..
even the alliance bank ppl..
one of the staff there..
eating apple..
looking at us transfering the food..
very embarassed lo..

i asked the senior whether it's normal..
they said YES!
walaueh..
reali zha dao lo.
they do this to every client leh!
=.=''

oh ya..
today one senior fetched me to client place..
so tat i don nid to walk tat far la..
she's from bahau, renting a place in KL to work..

i chatted wif her..
only to noe tat she worked til 3am in the morning only back home..
then i asked her..
is this auditor's life?
she said YES!!!
and the more i chatted wif her..
the more i think tat auditor is not easy le..
she said tat auditor forever no holidays de..
unless v take leave la..
sumtimes, for work purpose, v stil have to went bek to office during weekend..

but one pros which is very important..
the pay for auditor is higher compare to other line..
auditor earned more..

and it's a coincident i can eat lunch wif swee ann today..
her work place is juz behind my building..
so v went to McD to have our lunch there..

before i went off from office..
a msg shocked me..
surprised me..
for one whole week..
i hope tat the msg sender is her..
at last, it did happened..
i see hope..
but when she said bye..
i feel depressed..
can anyone tell me am i addicted to her ar?

i juz duno how to react..
i duno wat emotion shud i giv to myself..
i'm in a dilemma..

i guess i'm juz falling too deep le..
>.<

33 days.
i'm still missing you..
very much..

ps. thx for the effort to sms me..

first day in Alliance Bank..

today..
new week, new month..
a lot of thing to post here..
let's see..

today i started my day in Alliance bank..
but b4 tat i went to PwC to sort out my comp..
battery prob..
kenot b charged, so my laptop becum desktop le..
kenot moved de..

first time after seperation in MSWG..
three of us - biiang, vincent and me gathered together..

today met lotsa same induction batch interns..
met 2 HR interns which sit wif me on the first day of my PwC..
and andrew from nottingham, one of the non-tarcian there..

then during my stay of 3 hours in office..
i chatted wif shan miao and mei kuen thru Lotus note(PwC intranet)..
at first i thought i will settle my lunch near there..
so i dated shan miao and mei kuen..
but at last i leave PwC oso..
haih..
no chance meet them le..
nvm, next time ba..

then i sitting ahlam(a malay girl)'s car to Alliance Bank..
doing audit work there..
b4 tat ahlam told me got one vt(vacation trainee = interns) there..
then my first mind was lik same induction wif me de?
tat mind juz come and go..
and surprisingly..
i knew the interns..
she's my precessor in accounting society..
i'm treasurer after her..
she is shannon..

once me and ahlam reached alliance bank, v straight go lunch wif the audit team there..
on the way to SOGO, juz beside the SOGO building..
v met another team of PwC auditor from CIMB bank..
among them, v met ah ji, shannon's fren..
really so coincident today met so many ppl lo..
think oso kenot think de lo..

then today i stayed in Alliance bank..
nothing much la basically..
juz tat the ppl there kinda very frenly le..
no one wants to delegate job for me oso..
but i enjoyed listen to their conver..

and this girl called cindy, who looks lik a teacher in her appearance..
saw my notes on desktop..
"WARNING : no games, no newspaper"
then she straight said: "no life ar?!?!"
then i explained y i do tat..
because in ASTRO, u r not allowed to read newspaper..
then she shake head and went away..

this audit team damn funny le..
halfway when cindy discussing works wif me..
others is discussing wat to buy tml!
at first they keep saying food..
"i wan maggie, nescafe 3 in 1.. nescafe is a MUST ok! u don have tat u cant even survive.."
"i wan merry chocolate, horflick, hup seng biscuit.. rmb drop down ar!"
lik they r going for some picnic..
one ppl dropped down..

then later only i noe wat r they doing..
they r going to buy food tonite..
and bring it to client's place tml!!
and cindy, halfway talking to me..
can juz suddenly shout out wat she wants(food)..
walaueh..
quite funny rite these ppl, at least better than ASTRO's no life..

imagine tml when an auditor go client's place..
wif a big pack of food..
wat is the clients going to think of PwC auditor?
yet to imagine..

but come to think of it..
tml i wil feed myself wif junk food while working..
isnt it good?
haha..

today i knew quite a lot of senior le..
cindy, ahlam, anna, wuanyin, darren, june, mingkang..
nice to meet them..
think tat my life in Alliance will b better ba..

oh yeah..
heard tat this client is get from EY(Ernst & Young) de lo..
b4 tat..
EY oredi audited this company for lik 15 years..
this is first time PwC audit this client..

one more thing..
i heard from ahlam said winnie is planning to extend our duration in PwC..
good news rite?

unfortunately,today when i wan to go home..
the sky rain damn heavily..
make me have to work 'unpaid OT'..
haih~

wat a day full of everything fresh..
hope tml wil b better day..
god bless me~

32th day..
waiting to forget u..
but i stil unable to do so..
any frens of mine got any way to teach me or share me ur exp?

ps. a msg for u from 10th to 28th Feb.. u see it then u do, u din, anggap i write trash..