Deep Down Talking Night!

I just finished busy with my event schedule..
yet during this time, i discovered a little bothering facts..
hmmm...

ok skip topic!

yesterday i am back to Cheras to take up some rest~
but i feel scared for no reason..
my heart is feeling scared on something but i just do not know what it is..
this is the second time i feel so..
i feel very insecure..
i do not know the reason either..
aiks~

help me......

********************************************

few days ago i have a whole night chat with two young ladies..
one of them is non other than pigowl..
well, this is the first time that we chatted so deep down into our heart..
some topics which i buried deep down also surfaced..
i enjoyed this kind of moment until i overnight at some illegal places.. xD

this time i did not hesitate to question and answer on the issue that all of us wanna know.
of course it included some topic regarding sex (very little) and also about relationship (which is sensitive)..

after some time, one down..
left me and pigowl..
i asked her some sensitive questions..
also, all the curiosity i thought before i asked..

i got my answer..
typical answer~

previously i chose to ignore and just be friends with her..

but one question lighten up (not bring back) my hopes..

tho not much~

i confronted her on this matter further..

well, outcome is still the same..

then i changed position..

i advised her on another topics..

and slowly she revealed more information..

seriously that time i felt sad for you, i nearly shed tears to be exact..
second time i hear friend's story till wanna cry..
then it turned to rage..

straight away i told her that i cannot accept the fact that two people that like each other but cannot be together..

being together is two people's business..
remember this..
if you bring in other people, then you are dating with whole world!

of course when i said no need care so much does not mean you can ignore them..
if they play an important role then you must do something sooner or later~

after that i analyse the situation..

i do not know how much you listened because you are close to sleep by that time..

i admitted that it's very hard for you to go through the obstacles in front..

because the obstacle refuse to move away~

and also the obstacle's passion is not died yet..

for you to break through and get together, it's hard..

eventhough you mentioned things will get a little smooth after you graduated and not that attached to the group..

i just wanna say..

the obstacle is there for you to do something on it..

it wont move away as time goes by..

in the end you still need to face it..

anyway, you are not rush so you can ignore this at the moment..

back to myself..

to my surprise i did not think as much as before..

usually i will sink deep down into my mind and think alot!

this time i just face it naturally with a calm mind~

things might not be favorable to me..

but that is not what i concern for now..

i promised that i wont get into your way in short term..

so i will hold on to my promise~ =)

i view promise very tight..

if i promise something i will do it!

even you cant see it but as long as i promise, that's what i owe a duty of care to obliged to the promise..

this is me~

cause i use heart to exchange for your trust~

too bad i did not fully voice out due to short of time that night!

but im glad we chatted so long!!! ^^

i think i revealed quite a number of unrevealed facts..
i do not know how this will affect you but as i said i just don want to hide anything from you already..
i think you are the first person that make me do this~
proud? xD

for now you need a friend more than a companion..

i noticed this..

that's the reason i withhold myself and face you with pure friendship for now..

i can be there for you if you need me..
also i wanna prove you that friends like me still can be trusted..
(doesnt mean you are not trusting me now!)
there is no way i will do something which betray you~
never~ =D

but clearly you said u do not want to rely on me so much already..
i respect it..
but i will still say the same..
anything find me~ =)

you also said that things might change when i go to work..
i told you that you underestimate me!
i will use time to prove you wrong~
just you wait~
lalala~

i think we can only settled for now..
i will shut down my other side..
and be the part that you need me..
let things run itself ba~ =)

ps. see fate let you noticed this post or not~ not going to tell you~ =P